It is easy to get myself misunderstood, and if you are like me, well, we know it happens more than often. I’m talking about being an extroverted introvert like I am. This means our personality type is subject to change. Myself, i’m either outgoing or simply desperate to be alone at times. And these two states leave me so fulfilled. A lot of people who dont really know me will say, “Well, it is impossible to be like this.” But I don’t see anything wrong. In fact, I get a lot of energy and fulfillment in either state.
Sometimes when I wake up, I just want to drown myself in my presence. I drive to the coffe shop and I read. I’m surrounded by people but I also prefer to be left alone at this time. Sometimes talking takes a lot of energy. And no, i am not lonely at all. I’m hardly ever lonely. I listen to smooth jazz while i read, sipping on my cup of coffee. The feeling is so overwhelming. Sometimes i wish time would stand still for an hour or two. I love it so much! If I did not drive to the coffee shop, I stay home. I stay in and paint, I’m not even a painter. I picked painting the day my ex & I decided to go to a painting class on a date. Sometimes I bake. I look up recipes and just bake. I do enjoy these things.
This is why I am not a plans kind of a person. I’m not your kind of friend who sticks with, “Let’s do karaoke next week” or, “Let’s go see a movie on Thursday at 6pm.” See, I don’t know how ill feel then, and so usually my response is more like, “Can I call you on that day in the morning & confirm?” But for those who really know me, usually go like this, “I know you, I’ll call you on Thur to see if we can see a movie” Gosh, i love when they say that! Ooh, my sisters & close friends know this of me more than anyone, and they still love me. I’m actually a loyal person. It’s not that I can’t commit, it’s more of; if I plan on it, will I be really present and make it memorable? Will i even be up for it then? I’m rather spontaneous. I’m not a peope pleaser and so, If I commit to something, I feel responsible of keeping my word. But I’m not like this always. I like to believe I pay attention to details, and so when it comes to things like my job, I’m good at it. Nothing repeats itself at work & today is always different from yesterday.
The other side of me is the really fun, outgoing side. Yes, I’ll turn around and blow everyone’s phone so we can go bowling. In fact, I plan everything including the activities to be had. If we go dancing, and you meet me for the first time then, you’ll think I’m simply outgoing! I play loud music in the house, dance, learn dancing from YouTube videos and so on. I am really two sided but I don’t find it a problem. I never came to point of feeling inadequate. So far you can either relate with this or you’re wonderingif this is a joke. Lol!
My interests are diverse as a result of this. I’m not the typical small talk kind of conversationist, neither am I the group talker. I like one on one talks, and I like thought provoking topics or conversations. I lose interest even in things & people if they don’t keep my brain stimulated. My attention span is short, really short for unstimulating things. I’m the typical analytical human. I analyse and overthink. If I like you, I really do and if I don’t, then I really don’t, and neither do i try to coat my true feelings. See, if you’re like me, you know we are picky. And we want to learn about what the people we like goals’ are, what they like, what their family is like and so on. So we talk with them and when we do, they’d better know not to talk about the weather, unless there’s a tornado or extreme weather forecasted.
So, there is a glimpse of me, as well as of others who share my personality….